1 Corinthians 13:6

⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Love does not delight in evil. Love should never enjoy evil. That was told to me yesterday morning. I was looking at the sky while the stars are fading away and while beside the person I really love but not the center of my heart--because God is in the center of my life. I pondered hard about it this morning.

I woke up this morning as usual. But as time passes by while I was lying in bed, God had talked to me. I asked Him why I'm still alive, why I had awaken again. God had answered me through a miracle. I believe its a miracle. There was no water from the faucet. I was taking a bath and when the water from the pail is almost gone, I opened the faucet with faith that God will provide. Water flowed freely. (I asked a sign that if God answers at least one of my prayers, then God still has not let go of me. And He didn't.) From there, God that I will live and I'll stop doing bad things, first and foremost, one of the worst things.

This afternoon, I bought a book. Actually books because they were two. One for/about God and another for life--how to be a human. While on the bookstore, the man I really love sent me a message about something. I have to reply what I ought to and through God, I replied what I need. To show him real love, I have to stop what I should. I asked God for patience and the courage. Maybe someday, I might be tempted but God will always give me the strength to refuse it.

I really love him so I realized that I should show him that I love him because maybe he really thinks that I don't love him. He thinks I'm obsessed with him. In reality I'm not, I know myself. And it hurts because the one you trusted most and hopes that understands you does not. The worst part is he thinks I'm really obsessed with him because it was said to him by a psychologists. It really hurts because that's what he thinks I am. Just because I care for him, for his grades and for his life, he thinks I'm obsessed. Now, I'll show him that it's love and not obsession--by taking up some steps--though it hurts..lalalala

God please help me. Give me the courage and if it is Your will please answer my prayer. I really wanted to be with him but he thinks I'm obsessed and he's at the center of my heart. Please don't make him think about that. Lord, help me to live too and smile. Please. Be my guide in each decision and always help me. Thanks. I love you.